Laugher-Inducing Stories about the Vile Niqab

Published in February 9, 2019

Translated by: Ahmed Fathy

Introduction:

 In our previous writings, fatwas, and videos, we have proven without a shadow of doubt that the veil (or hijab) and niqab (full veil covering the face) are never part of Islam at all. Personally speaking, we do not mind if women wear the detestable niqab, provided that they would not ascribe this vile, hateful dress-code to Islam. Those women and men who attribute hijab and niqab to Islam are ascribing falsehoods and lies to the Lord God and to His Religion; this is a grave sin committed by the polytheistic Muhammadans now. This is why a woman who wears a bathing suit or revealing clothes (e.g., soirée dresses) is making a small sin or mistake/mishap by disregarding the Quranic commands about covering chests/breasts and legs of women, but a woman who wears niqab while ascribing it to Islam is a disbelieving woman who commits a grave sin. The Lord God says the following in the Quran: "Say, "Who forbade God's finery which He has produced for His servants, and the delights of livelihood?" Say, "They are for those who believe, in this present world, but exclusively theirs on the Day of Resurrection." We thus detail the verses for people who know. Say, "My Lord has forbidden immoralities - both open and secret - and sin, and unjustified aggression, and that you associate with God anything for which He revealed no sanction, and that you say about God what you do not know."" (7:32-33).

2- There is nothing new to add here about proving that scarves covering women's hair (i.e., hijab) and niqab have nothing to do with Islam and that forcing women to wear hijab or niqab is against Islam. Yet, we provide three laughter-inducing, real stories about the vile, detestable niqab to amuse our readers and to instruct them, in a funny way, about the grave dangers resulting from the spread of the habit of wearing niqab within any society.

STORY NO. ONE:

 In the mid-1980s in Cairo, Egypt, we got acquainted with a Quranist young man who was imprisoned with our person; at one time, as a friend, he hinted to me that he intended to visit Cairo for two days; we took the hint as a desire to be received as a guest in our house; hence, we welcomed him in a cordial manner. When he made his appearance on the fixed day and knocked at our door, we were surprised to see that he was accompanied by both his wife and his female secretary; both women wore the vile niqab. After welcoming the small party, our wife was busy talking to the two women in the bed-room; we and our friend stayed in the salon and sometimes in the study-room; our male little children remained at their chamber. Our children, our friend, and ourselves never dared to enter into the bed-room where our wife and her two fully veiled guests remained. We felt as if our apartment was divided into two separate camps; a curfew was imposed on buffer zones or neutral areas which were the kitchen, the reception, and the bathroom! Whenever our children or ourselves would appear in the reception so that we would use the bathroom, the secretary in niqab would notify the wife of our friend so that both women would hide behind the closed door of the bed-room with our own wife! We felt as if both women assumed it would be wrong for both of them to be seen – in niqab – by other males of all age-groups! This was very silly! Every single time when our friend and ourselves would get out of the study-room or get into the apartment (after going out earlier), we must wait and make sure that the coast is clear and no women were around! This got very much on our nerves during the two days when they stayed with us; we felt that our small apartment were like a prison! We sighed in relief once our friend and the two women in niqab left our apartment for good and returned to their native village. For several months, our wife and ourselves kept remembering how funny and silly the situation was and we laughed at such reminiscing until the whole matter was obliterated from our own mind. In the mid-1990s, we were a guest at the house of a friend who lived in a city in Lower Egypt; we delivered a speech in a forum in that city and this friend invited us to lunch at his house before catching the train to return to Cairo. After the lunch, he told me that his sister knew about our person and our Qurnaism and that she read most of our published books and articles; he told me that his sister desired very much to talk to us in person; we readily agreed. His sister was unveiled (i.e., she wore neither hijab nor niqab) and her dress was à la mode or rather dernier cri and followed the latest fashion typical of that time. Smiling, she spoke to us confidently; to our amazement, she knew a lot about our person and our wife. When we expressed our surprise as she knew many things about our wife, she confessed to us that she was the woman in niqab who was married to the former friend of ours who visited us in the 1980s! She told us that she divorced her husband in court after she discovered his infidelity; i.e., he had an affair with his female secretary who wore niqab! She hated the niqab ever since and vowed never to wear it again. She never wore any headdresses (i.e., scarves or veil/hijab) since her divorce. What is important here is what she told us about her experience with the vile thing called niqab (imposed on her by her husband since day one of her former marriage); she asserted to us the fact that women in niqab typically live a double life and are psychologically disturbed women who were addicted to voyeurism; i.e., to see others (indoors and outdoors) without being seen and to get to know their secrets. This double life makes women in niqab commit whatever crimes in secret; e.g., to cheat on their husbands or increase their revenue by becoming sex workers! This is not to mention blackmailing others after knowing their secrets, while ostensibly showing off a fake attitude of 'piety' or rather religiosity and expressing their sense of superiority over veiled and unveiled women who were deemed less pious! She told us that she got rid of such a double life of hypocrisy once she decided to remove the vile niqab. Freeing herself from it made her restore her sanity, stability, and psychological well-being. She began to deal with people within spontaneity and perfect candor. She told us that the most painful memory of her past life within wearing the detestable black niqab was when she entered into a pharmacy and a very little female child screamed in fear and clung to her unveiled mother as she saw her! When she got closer to the child to calm her down, the child wept and screamed louder! The mother of the child (who was a customer) shouted at her to move away from her child who was afraid of her niqab.              

STORY NO. TWO:

 We were the president of the weekly forum in the Cairo-based Ibn Khaldoun Center for several years; typically, the forums were attended by many people from the Cairene cultural elite, journalists, thinkers, writers, and some politicians and public servants and few people who were ordinary citizens. In each forum, an expert specializing in some field or the other would discuss a controversial subject or a thorny issue, breaking the religious and political taboos. The most popular topics of the forums were the Israeli-Arab conflict, less-known episodes of Arab history, the democratic transition, religious and political reform, the Shiite and Sunnite religions, reform of Azharite and public education in Egypt, the terrorist MB organization, terrorism, and the power-seeking Salafists/Wahabis. At one time, we noticed a woman dressed in black niqab who attended the forum, along with her bearded husband, for the first time. Her husband's beard was too long; it reached his navel, we think. This meant that he was a Salafist and so was his wife. By the end of the forum, her husband approached our person, requesting that his wife desired to pose some questions to us about religion. We readily agreed; when we stretched our right arm to shake hands with the wife, she refused and told us she believed that it is prohibited in Islam that women would shake hands with men; we felt very embarrassed and insulted by this, as she uttered her words (expressing her stance) in a loud voice that caught the attention of some people who still remained in the hall of the forum. We maintained our calmness despite feeling insulted; we heard her questions and answered them briefly. On our way home, we wished that such an insolent woman would never set foot again in the forums of the Ibn Khaldoun Center. About two years later, a woman dressed in the vile, black niqab attended one of the forums without being accompanied by anyone; we could never guess if she were the same woman or not. By the end of the forum, after all people went away this time, she approached us and reminded us of herself; she was the same Salafist woman who embarrassed us two years earlier. She wept as she narrated to us in a sad voice that her husband got arrested and was imprisoned (without a trial) along with many Salafist men; she asked if we knew any friends in the Egyptian State Security Apparatus who would act as mediators to hasten her husband's release; when we answered in the negative, she requested from us to testify (when the time comes if her husband would be interrogated) that he attended the Ibn Khaldoun Center forums many times and this indicated that he was not an extremist or a terrorist. We told her that we could not help her as a witness because as a Quranist thinker, we are much hated by the Saudi embassy in Cairo which urged the Mubarak regime to persecute our person on several occasions; thus, our interference might harm her husband instead of being of any good use to him. We apologized for not being able to offer any help for her husband. Months later, she came to the forum and asked our person, in private, about if she had the right (within Islam) to demand divorce since she cannot continue living alone without a husband who would take care of her sexual needs. She told us she was afraid lest Satan would tempt her to commit the sin of fornication. We told her she had the right to demand divorce and she can hire a lawyer who would help her; when she requested that we would recommend a lawyer for her, we told her frankly that we knew no lawyers at all. Months later, we knew that her ex-husband was released from prison after he lost his possessions and assets; it was transpired that his ex-wife (the women in niqab) before demanding divorce was the one who schemed to have him imprisoned to divorce him and to take for herself all his possessions and assets using forged contracts showing as if he sold everything to her! Once we heard this story, we expressed our hatred towards the cursed niqab which hides the sinful behavior of evil, scheming women who pretend to be pious.            

STORY NO. THREE:      

1- Tohami was a naïve, gullible man who was a very distant relative of ours; he worked in upholstery; nothing was so special about Tohami and nothing would arouse any curiosity regarding his life except his wife, Bosayna, who was taller than her husband and she had a curvaceous, very fat body as well as very strong, muscled arms and a very loud voice. She was a real thug and a bully; woe for those who were destined to be her preys/victims: her rhapsody of insults would erupt in a deafening voice and she typically would lift her victim/prey (be it a man or a woman!) upwards with both her arms until the victim would swing both legs in fright, fearing to be crushed by her! This is why Bosayna managed to get her way and impose her will on others in the whole village; sometimes, Bosayna raised her short husband, Tohami, upwards with one strong arm in a playful manner and she would swing his body in the air! In such cases, he pretended to swoon; deep inside his mind, he knew that this is not sexual foreplay or a rough demand for sex; rather, this is his wife's way to show off her might and physical strength so that he would never refuse her anything or dare to disobey her commands! Thus, Bosayna was an unveiled ill-tempered wife who despised her hen-pecked husband Tohami.     

2- Bosayna had a scheme in mind and proceeded to implement it to use her physical strength to gain more power and stature in the village and more money, of course. The shop where her husband Tohami worked in upholstery was rented from its owner, a man named Ilhami. Both Tohami and Ilhami quarreled one day because Ilhami, the owner of the shop, decided to raise the rent. Ilhami never heard of Bosayna before; he risked his own life, unawares, when he threatened Tohami inside the shop that if would not pay the raised rent regularly every month, he would kick him out of the shop forever! When she heard from Tohami what happened, Bosayna was very happy to have this chance to implement her scheme: once Ilhami came next month to get the rent from Tohami, she raised his body into the air by her right arm and threatened to crush his testicles with her left hand if he would dare disobey her; she cursed and insulted him with her loud voice and many villagers witnessed this humiliation. Ilhami peed in his underwear in fear; the urine got out of his trousers; he readily agreed to waive his shop to Tohami and signed a contract to that effect, prepared beforehand by Bosayna, and he received no money at all. Ilhami had but one goal: to go away and never to return to the village. Rumors have it that Ilhami never managed to get or maintain an erection to have sex with his helpless wife ever since, though he moved to another distant village after this incident! Thus, Bosayna became the real owner of this shop and she received the money from customers, and her husband worked for her only in return for his pocket-money!   

3- Neighbors who lived near the house and the shop owned now by Bosayna feared her very much and avoided her most of the time; this made them never to get their sofas, mattresses, and chairs to be upholstered by Tohami; when Bosayna felt she was about to be broke, she threatened those families who were about to celebrate the marriage of their offspring to employ the services of her husband, or else, she would beat them severely in public with her strong hands; they knew that her madness or fury would make her temporarily lose her eyesight and this would make her beat the victims/preys anywhere in their bodies! They were so frightened that they obeyed Bosayna; some of them peed in their underwear in fear! Even those who have no offspring brought their sofas, mattresses, and chairs (new or old!) to Tohami to upholster them. Thus, Bosayna grew richer.  

4- The turning point in the life of Bosayna and Tohami was when their village received the Syrian Salafist sheikh Abou Eyad who settled there; he was merely a huge, talking beard walking on two feet; one could hardly see his eyes and mouth and facial features; the voice of this foul-mouthed man was so loud; he demanded from the villagers that he must be employed as the imam of their mosque; this was his 'right' as he is the oldest sheikh in their village which had no Salafist sheikhs at all! He told them that his life-mission was to teach 'Islam' to them!  

5- In fact, at the time, the only mosque in the village had its own imam; this mosque was adjacent to the shop of Tohami. The imam of the mosque was the one who delivered the Friday sermons; he was a young man who graduated recently from the faculty of commerce and he had no other job; he had no beard at all and never wore the Azharite garb of clergymen. The Syrian Salafist sheikh Abou Eyad informed this imam, in a deafening voice, that he was not qualified and he must make room for him and leave the mosque and the whole village at once! Rumors have that that this young imam disappeared suddenly and mysteriously days later; some people assumed he was beaten severely by Bosayna (who also crushed his testicles!) and have now his permanent bed in a hospital in Cairo; some people say that students of the faculty of medicine study his fractured body as an example showing the human body's survival mechanism after disasters and life-threatening hazards! Other people whispered that the Syrian Salafist sheikh Abou Eyad employed the services of Bosayna and paid her handsomely! This means that this young imam refused to obey sheikh Eyad! Bosayna was hated and feared more than ever by all the villagers!  

6- When the sheikh Abou Eyad became the imam of the only mosque in the village, his influence appeared everywhere soon enough; most men, young and old, including Tohami, grew their beards and wore them very long; most women wore the niqab, including Bosayna who 'repented' and converted to Salafism and wore a black niqab over her huge, curvaceous body. Bosayna became a sheikha and delivered sermons to the women of the village at her house and inside the mosque as well. 

7- Yet, the violence and aggression of Bosayna never ceased; rather, her violence and aggression increased more than ever. The only change was that her terrorism was clad in the thin cover of Salafism and religiosity and was practiced only within the vicinity of her shop and inside it. She was the deputy of sheikh Eyad and she was bent on 'guiding' all the women of the village to 'Islam'. Bosayna advised everyone to perform good deeds and to avoid 'vice'; she became like the brutal Saudi religious police; she typically changed what was deemed by her as 'vice' or 'evil' using her own hands!

8- Bosayna grew closer to the Syrian Salafist sheikh Eyad; eventually, she forced Tohami to divorce her so as to avoid being beaten by her to death; she employed him still in her shop; he worked for her; she got married to sheikh Abou Eyad and both grew too powerful and were like a king and a queen who ruled the entire village! All male villagers avoided coming near the terrorist Bosayna when she walked outdoors in her niqab; they could recognize her by her loud voice and by her tall figure and curvaceous body, and this is not to mention her evil eyes with the hateful looks directed at them!

N.B.: (1) The above, third story, in particular, is for adults only who are over the age of sixty-five; those who are below this age are strongly advised not to read and/or circulate it! (2) We have employed fictional names; i.e., we have not used the real names of the people involved in that story.